This song is a long-standing, uh, tradition in the crock. The first version was written by Mark Holthouse back in 1976 or so. This new version of the lyrics is by me (Bradley "Ladybug" Rhodes) and Khota "Batman" Ueno.
[All]
Tution, Tuition!
Tution, Tuition!
[Student]
When I was young I peddled for a UROP
tried to get work study
whored upon the Fenway
try as I might I couldn't earn enough to
satisfy the Institvute.
[All]
Poor student, poor student!
Poor student, poor student!
[Bursar]
You must learn to live on less and pay your bill
and steel your will
to eat road kill
Otherwise your credit we will surely kill
With suits and liens and threats of broken bones
[All]
The Bursar, the bursar!
The Bursar, the bursar!
[Parent]
Dear son we got your bill today
but we're a little short
We'd have to sell the Summer home and you're...
not worth it.
[All]
The Parent, the parent!
The Parent, the parent!
[Student]
So now I'm on the street
without my damned degree
and all I have to show is
this bill from MIT!
[All]
Tuition, tuition!
Tuition, tuition!
Tuition!